03-06-04 - -
I got the drunkest I've ever been at that party, and I ended up doing & saying things I shouldn't have...and searching around their hosue for pills to take to kill myself.
I scared myself silly, & I'm never going back there. I embarassed myself entirely.
I'm thinking I might be an alcoholic.
I'm thinking even if I'm not, I shouldn't got parties anymore -- I drink 1.5 to 3 times as much as I do with Bat. & I'm thinking less drinking with Bat would be good too.
I'm really upset and scared on this issue. I talked to my Dad candidly about it (didn't tell him what I did at the party except for the suicidey part, of course) despite Bat's advice, and he was pretty understanding.
I'm still upset and scared...and hungover of course which makes it all worse.
