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03-02-04 - -

Bat decided to name the kitty Finnegan, after our extensive conversation about Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake. The evening prior to her adoption, we'd pronounced it a true work of genius -- I could see hundreds of puns, allusions, and other marks of brilliance in the pages I scanned. I announced intentions to carry it everywhere, studying it passage by passage in silent awe, my little Experimental Fiction Bible.

As to Finn herself, I long to see her again.I wonder if Finn would object to such an unfeminine name. I am slightly offended when Bat refers to Finn as "he".

I feel like I need Bat, I need a break, I've become dependent on our little getaways, I've lost my ability to use conjuctions. The past few days have just been hard -- grey, with tears, full of work to do and sad memories. But Bat's Grandma got a pacemaker put in and he may want to visit her at the hospital. This makes sense, and so it won't bother me.

EXCEPT... (i know I'm spoiled)
I'm disappointed and upset that we can't go anywhere for spring break. Of course, earlier it wasn't even an option. I knew Bat was broke and couldn't afford it. I've been pretty broke too. But conditions changed dramatically: I made the offer that I would arrange and pay for a vacation. All he had to do was say yes. My mother, inspired by a client's talk of visiting Charleston, offered to give me $300 to go on spring break. I wrote an excited, excited email only to discover we can't go for three days because Bat has to help with his Grandma (he appointed himself as new guardian) and Finn is to new to be alone. He forgot to add, "And I'm the least spontaneous person on the planet." That is something a part of me resents a little. *Sigh*



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