12-25-03 - -
Christmas was held entirely on Christmas Eve this year, as Rob and Nancy were flying out Xmas night. All the disasters of that evening were comfortingly and yet remarkably minor and normal, like my Mom's fettucine alfredo separating or running out of "ordervs." We missed the claymation specials entirely this year, but were comforted by pecan-chocolate bars. The adults played pinochle. When they let me in, I forgot the rules. We played a game of charades disappointingly free of sexual innuendo. We all sang Christmas carols, nontheists and Jews and all. We had a poor two-guitar renditioning of "Leaving on a Jet Plane" with an 8 person accompaniment. My aunt June and uncle Steve, in a dazzling display of wealth and generousity, gave me and my sister each $75 worth of gift certificates along with bunny socks, a journal, an essential oils burner, and the other thing. With my Mom, Bat, and Grandma's presents as well, I felt charmingly overwhelmed. My Mom had told me to choose "stocking stuffers" at the dollar store. Guess whose stocking they ended up in -- bloonies, a plastic disguise, playdoh. Little things like that please me, too. I was also quite proud of the gifts I gave, both to my family and to Bat's.
Our family has gotten increasingly nontheistic, so that added a weird, bitterly comic element, like when I commented that Santa stopped coming to our house when we stopped believing in Jesus. My Mom made a throughly tactless anti-Christian comment in front of Nancy and Rob, as if forgetting it wasn't just the four of us. I'm embarassed to put it here because it's a direct quote of me. To prove just how unorthodox we are about Christmas, we actually ate Chinese food tonight. I felt out of place in a Chinese restaurant on Christmas, wearing a red and green sweater. I think most of the people there were Jewish. We almost saw a movie, but one of the uncles threw a fit. I wanted to be able to say I ate Chinese and watch a movie on Christmas.
So, on to some bad stuff. Matt was quite a snobby brat at times. He pointed out loudly how little we got them. Him and his parents talked constantly about the Cayman Islands, a trip which is the reason they couldn't spend over 36 hours here. My cousin Matt asked me what the "big present" my parents got me was, as if what they got me wasn't enough. He was referring perhaps to something like his and Sarah's Hanukah presents this year -- a digital camera, a laptop, a kayak.
Smoking was a constant issue. They noted that I give my Mom money to buy me cigarettes and she does so, and she got the bad parent rap the entire holiday. Rob got on my mom for "letting" my Dad smoke. Rob seemed to disdain me and I realized how little he knew me when he said I was nothing like my mother. I definately do not have any adult-like status nor am I worth serious conversation. My Dad was preoccupied with videos and absent most of the time.
Sarah was treated like "the good kid" by everyone because she is more stable, has a steady job, drives. Sarah herself seemed blase, apathetic, bored to tears. I guess it all goes with the territory. It didn't all bother me at the time, but my "processing" is starting to set in.
My Mom has already started to move into sadness about the family's retreat -- about the hurtful things that happened along with the sadness of their departure. And I say: Good Christmas! Best one in a very long time. Although I almost miss that magical feeling of piety.
