05-06-03 - 3:24 p.m.
The truth is, sexism goes beyond men underestimating women. It is a broad spectrum including men against men, women against men, and men against men. I feel the way that people judge their own gender according to "gender roles" is as sexist in the same way judging the opposite gender according to those roles.
These days the words "pussy" and "queer" are used as sexist defimations against all sorts of men: those who prefer alcoholic "girly drinks" that actually taste good, those who don't accept Bush's cowboy mentality, those who listen to "emotional musicians" such as Morrissey or the Cure. It's not a coincidence that the term "pussy" also refers to female genitalia. To call someone "Pussy" says "You are like a woman -- and that's disgusting. It dismisses the feminine societal constructs -- things like empathy, emotional introspection, and the humanities -- as worthess, something "no real man" would ever embrace. If you ever ask a fairly non-macho guy who preferred poetry to sports in highschool what epithets applied to him in middle and highschool, he will most likely list "faggot" among them. His value system threatened the general male populus and he was put in his place. Homophobia hits at the heart of what "male-ness" means. Homophobia says that at the crux of being male is sexual attraction towards women -- and aside from condemning the actual act of homosexuality, it also demeans the culture often associated with gay men. Homophobia is not only the fear of homosexual sex -- it is also the fear of people who don't fit our gender norms. Women who don't care about their appearance and shave their heads, men who are fashion concious. Women who don't take shit from anyone, men who cry at the movies.
Despite the fact that hormonal cues exist to help define "gender roles" -- every woman and man has a unique mixture of different male and female hormones. Similarly, why do we shun variations in gender roles. Most of all, why do we care? Why should women be empathetic and men be strong? Of course, we all want there to be someone strong to stand up for the people. We want someone in a relationship to stand up for us. Why does it need to be a certain gender?
As for those aspects of "male chivalry" women enjoy -- why can't they be adopted by both genders? As much as we enjoy people giving us our seat, doing us favors, and the like, wouldn't it be even better if men and women offered these favors to others ignoring gender and embracing respect for humankind?
Sexism is a very complex package -- and it is hardly limited to women. It makes women fear they are not girly or womanly enough. It makes men fear they are not manly enough. And homosexuality and homophobia are mixed in the package. I think it's important for any person living in this country, this world's, giant "gender pressure" boiler to wake up to the other issues. How can a feminist woman disdain a man because he's not her conception of manhood?
((This rant was fueled in part from talking to Doors...one of my fav non-machoistic guys.))
