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01-05-04 - -

Dicey asked to go along with Rez, and I thought, why not? He's easygoing enough for it. We planned to go to the video arcade, but we ended up listening to music and drinking Smirnoff Ice in his car. I smoked a lot (after I just quit, *sigh*). Rez seemed much more animated with Dicey, who is more outgoing than me... they flirted a little, but his hand was on my leg and I felt fairly secure. I felt more comfortable with him then ever now that I considered him a real friend after our online talks. Part of me wanted to simply ditch Dicey to get Rez alone -- to really talk to Rez, but I was enjoying her company.

After the video arcade closed we drove home. Let me say that I was the only person disappointed that we never went in. He dropped Dicey off and said he wanted to talk to me. I brought up him flirting with my sister, and he said it was innocent ... he "didn't really mean anything." I was "five times hotter" and "It's you I want." We ended up making out and fooling around (although I never let him cum.) After he drove me home I did actually try to talk to him -- talk politics, talk favorite colors, whatever, but he said he had to go and as cheapened as that made me feel, I let him. When I got home and mentioned what happened between me and Rez, my sister told me that when I left the car to pee, Rez kissed her. My fucking fifteen year old sister, forgodsakes, a half hour before I jacked him halfway to orgasm! ASS! Sure, I'd said no sex, but it was also implied it was a date by the physical touch between us -- and he's actually eight years older than her. Goddamit, keep your dick in the pants.

So, it hurt my feelings a little.

I feel she's much prettier than me. Especially now that she's anorexic. I know that's sick to say. I feel sorry for her. But it also leaves me as the fat one. It used to be cool to be older. Now it's cool to be her.

I didn't mention that this morning I was awakened by a doorbell which my sister answered. However, when I was up and dressed I noticed a guy in her room putting on his shirt and zipping up his pants. I asked who he was and he said Nate. I'd been warned about this little rendezvous btu I forgot. Later my sister fessed up to over two hours of fooling around...I heard all the details -- cum dripping, hairy ass, him not hard enough to penetrate her. Why, she acted as if hearing about the guy was my primary pleasure in life! I felt almost cool about our secret, though. We never have secrets. Also, perhaps she will let up on the "You're a slut" bit." I am worried for her nonetheless. My LITTLE SISTER! When I woke up, they moved downstairs ... then he pushed her head to his crotch, she sucked it, and he walked out the door, and she lovingly recounted.

So for Dicey, this was the ultimate delinquent night. She pegged it as "one of the best nights ever" -- drinking, smoking, sex, GETTING KISSED BY REZ....

Oh, and I talked to my darling ex-nextdoor neighbor, best-friend-when-i-was-12, Brett for twenty mintues ... a nice friendly chat in which he laughed a few times, asked more questions than he spoke, and seemed not all that interested in eventually seeing me in person, sigh.



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