11-12-03 - 8:25 a.m.
Script from Last Night on November 11th: The Horrendously Predictable, Horribly Bad Exaggerated TV Movie Version
Amy: I am going to eat my own heart from depression.
Mom: Since your sister is wasting away to a skeleton due to anorexia, let's all eat dinner out together.
Dicey: I hate you, you bitch slut pig whores, just because you exist.
Amy: Why teh hell are you like this Dicey?
Dicey: Because I hate you for breathing.
Amy (aside): I really need a people fix. I want to get drunk. I want to distract myself. Now I can call Nash, since I kissed him and he is under my contol.
Amy: Nash, will you please be a prop for the quelling of my lovelornness?
Nash: I'm sorry, but all of a sudden my schedule of drinking, drinking, drinking has turned into an actually productive schedule that I must keep you out of.
Amy: Nuts. Let me call everyone else I know. Nate, can we hang out? Steven, can we hang out? Zoe, can we hang out? Okay, Tommorrow is great. Sure you can give me directions.
Bat: Hey, this is me. I know it's nearly one but I drove over here because I was lonely and semi-drunk and had already called everyone I know. I know you will always cuddle with me irrespective of your anger and sorrow. Gimme a kiss!
Amy: Aww, poor baby. Let me help you feel like a human again, even though you're using me. But I won't give you a kiss, I will use my tremendous willpower! Aha!
Bat: By the way, I'm too tired to get back home, so I need to sleep in your house or become a bum who collapses on the street. I'll probably freeze to death in my car. But I'm a trooper who can take it.
Amy: Poor dear, you don't have to do that. Oh, look, you made a really cute face. My every intention to not kiss you is fading away! Oh, please fool around with me and meet my ever-demanding sexual needs that I am unable to satisfy myself. I can't help myself!
Bat: Oh, Amy, you're the only person in the whole world who cares about me, angel goddess special beautiful woman.
Amy: Sleep tight dearie! I'll explain to my parents in the morning. Whoops, how'd it turn into three AM?
(curtain)
Yes, yes, I'm a sap. No need to tell me 'cause I already know.
